


The Lie

by moongirl24



Category: As the World Turns
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-31
Updated: 2012-05-31
Packaged: 2017-11-06 10:03:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/417598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moongirl24/pseuds/moongirl24
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Luke has something that he really needs to tell Noah.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Lie

Noah felt like he had stepped right into some kind of movie. A really weird, crazy and confusing movie.  
  
It was pretty late when he heard the knock on the door to his apartment and went to open it, wondering who it could be that came to see him at this time of night.  
  
It turned out to be the last person he expected (but always hoped) to see.  
  
Luke.  
  
The real Luke, this time. Not the imaginary one that his mind used to make up.  
  
The real, living, breathing Luke. Looking breathless and flustered and entirely too beautiful.  
  
Noah was too stunned to do anything. He just stared, and neither of them said anything for several seconds.  
  
“Luke,” Noah finally breathed out, almost soundlessly. He took a small step closer to Luke, who still didn’t move.  
  
“I lied,” he said instead.  
  
Noah blinked and continued to stare at Luke, feeling utterly bewildered. “What?” he somehow managed to get out.  
  
“I lied,” Luke repeated, looking at him as if it should be obvious what he was talking about. But Noah had absolutely no clue. What the hell was going on?  
  
“Luke,” he said, shaking his head a little like that would somehow make everything clearer. “What are you talking about?”  
  
Luke closed his eyes and took a couple of deep breaths. Noah took the opportunity to try and make some sense of the situation. Luke was here. In L.A. On his doorstep. They hadn’t seen each other in more than five months (five months, two weeks and three days, to be exact). And now he was here and the first thing he said, the only thing he said, was that he lied. Lied about what?  
  
Luke finally opened his eyes again and looked straight at Noah.  
  
“I lied,” he said for the third time. “I told you that we were wrong together. And that was a lie. We were never wrong, Noah. The truth is that we were too _right_ for each other. So right that no other guy can ever compete with what we had. But I… I needed to make it work with Reid. I chose to be with him and I needed to make it work. And the only way I could do that, was to put some distance between you and me. Because every time I saw you, I was reminded of what I felt about you. Of how _much_ I felt about you. And it just… it couldn’t go on like that. I needed to make it stop. So I lied. And I’m sorry. I never wanted to hurt you but I know that I did. And I know you must hate me now, so I’m going to get out of your sight. I just had to tell you.” He turned around and started to walk away, but then he stopped and threw one last look back at Noah. “I’m so sorry, Noah.”  
  
And then he disappeared down the stairs.  
  
It took a couple of seconds for Noah’s brain to catch up with what just happened. _What was that?_ By the time he was able to do anything other than stare at the spot that Luke had just vacated, he could hear Luke’s running footsteps in the stairs several floors below him. He moved over to the railing and leaned over it so he could look down at the flight of stairs.  
  
“Luke!” he called out. He ran over to the stairs and started following Luke down. “Luke!”  
  
He ran as fast as he could, calling Luke’s name over and over again. He was pretty breathless by the time he reached the ground floor, but he hurried over to the door and ran out into the street.  
  
“Luke!” he tried again, frantically looking around. But it was dark outside, and Luke was nowhere to be seen. Noah ran up and down the street for a while, trying to spot him, but to no avail. Luke was gone.  
  
He sank down on the steps outside the door to his building with a dejected sigh. After a while he pulled out his cell and tried to call Luke, but he already knew that Luke wouldn’t pick up. Luke had obviously said what he came here to say. And now what? Was Luke planning on just going back to Oakdale and continue to live his life there as if nothing had happened? After what he just said?  
  
For the first time Noah started to really let the things Luke told him sink in. He lied. Luke never thought they were wrong together. Quite the opposite, he thought they were right. Too right, actually. That’s what he said. That, and that he was sorry for lying.  
  
Noah didn’t know how he was supposed to feel about that. Somehow this changed everything. He had been crushed when Luke said those things back in Oakdale. When he said they weren’t right for each other. It was like Luke took all the things that Noah held on to, all the good times and the perfect memories and the love that they shared, and made them unimportant. Like they didn’t matter, like it was nothing. And it didn’t make Noah love him any less or take away the hope that one day Luke would come back to him, but it hurt. It hurt like hell. He almost wanted to hate Luke for it. Except that he couldn’t. He could never hate Luke.  
  
And now Luke turned up on his doorstep and told him that he never meant what he said. For a moment it made Noah angry. Angry with Luke for lying, for hurting him with things that were never true. For the tears and the sleepless nights, for the fear that Luke had really moved on and that they were over for good this time.  
  
But the anger quickly dissolved and made room for something else. A small glimmer of hope. Because Luke coming all this way and saying these things… that had to mean something, right? If he didn’t still feel something for Noah, then why was it so important for him to set things straight?  
  
But on the other hand, he obviously didn’t have any desire to stick around. In fact, he couldn’t get away from Noah fast enough. So maybe Noah was making way too big a deal out of this. Maybe Luke just needed to clear some things up before he could go on with his life.   
  
Noah eventually got to his feet and went back inside his apartment building. He realized that all he could do was wait. Wait until Luke was ready to talk.  
  
  
***  
  
  
Noah didn’t get much sleep that night. He tried calling Luke again, several times in fact, but there was no answer. As soon as the morning came he started to call people in Oakdale, Casey, Holden, Lily, Faith, asking if any of them had heard from Luke. But he soon discovered that none of them even knew that Luke was in L.A. Lily was pretty freaked out by the time Noah talked to her, because no one had heard from Luke for almost two days and no one knew where he was. She calmed down a bit when Noah told her that Luke was in L.A. and that he had talked to him. But Noah didn’t tell her that he had no idea where Luke was now. He figured she didn’t need to know that.  
  
Noah was starting to get pretty worried himself. Luke had seemed so lost when Noah saw him the night before. He had obviously left Oakdale without a word to anyone. And now he was gone again. He might not even be in L.A. anymore. But where was he then? And why hadn’t he called anyone, or picked up any of their calls?  
  
Noah felt exhausted, and seriously considered calling the people on set and tell them he couldn’t make it in today. He had no idea how he was going to be able to focus on anything other than Luke right now. But then he didn’t particularly feel like staying home and worry all day either. Maybe going to work would help take his mind off things for a while.  
  
So he got dressed, gathered his things, checked his cell for probably the hundredth time that morning, and left the apartment.  
  
It was quiet in the street outside. Noah only saw a few people as he started to walk down the street towards the abandoned warehouse they were currently filming in. It wasn’t too hot yet, for which Noah was grateful. He hadn’t quite been able to get used to the L.A. temperature yet.  
  
A couple of cars were parked next to the sidewalk. The first one he passed reminded him of his old truck and for a moment he felt a pang of sadness. That truck reminded him of Oakdale, of meeting Luke, of falling in love with Luke. Being Luke’s boyfriend. Luke. Luke. Luke. The truth was that everything reminded him of Luke. Every little thing could somehow be connected to the man he loved and seeing Luke last night hadn’t exactly made it any better.  
  
When he passed the second car he discovered that there was someone inside it. Someone who was sleeping. Noah was reminded of his own nights of sleeping in the car, back when he was still living with his father and was too scared of going home or the Colonel had kicked him out for the night. Maybe whoever was inside this car was in a similar situation?  
  
Noah walked closer but stopped dead in his tracks when he discovered blond, messy hair and a face that was just all too familiar.  
  
He had found Luke.  
  
For a moment Noah couldn’t move. And then the reality started to sink in. Luke was sleeping in a car, a rented one, most likely. He had probably been here all night. Right outside of Noah’s apartment. He hadn’t left after all.  
  
Noah felt like the movie he had stepped into last night was getting weirder by the second.  
  
He took a few steps closer to the car and looked at Luke’s sleeping face. That face that was almost too beautiful. Too perfect. Luke always looked so innocent when he slept. Vulnerable. Like a little child. Noah almost didn’t want to disturb him. But there was no way he could walk away now. Not with Luke right here.  
  
So he carefully knocked on the window, making Luke jump and look around as he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, obviously confused about where he was. But then he discovered Noah outside the car and suddenly looked a lot more awake.  
  
They looked at each other for a while. Then Luke unlocked the door on the passenger side, his sign for Noah to join him inside.  
  
Once Noah had climbed inside and closed the door behind him, they sat there in silence. Noah suddenly didn’t know what to say. There were so much… and yet he had no idea where to start. And Luke, usually so talkative, didn’t speak either.  
  
“Sorry to wake you,” Noah said finally, after several minutes of silence.  
  
Luke shrugged. “That’s okay. I didn’t sleep very well, anyway.”  
  
More silence. Two young women passed by the car, looking curiously at them.  
  
“So, you’re still here,” Noah said, staring out the front window. “I thought you left.”  
  
“Yeah,” Luke said, shifting a little in his seat. “I was going to. But then I just… couldn’t.”  
  
“So you’ve been out here the whole night?”  
  
“Pretty much,” Luke said, nodding slowly. “After I left you yesterday I drove around for a while, planning on eventually going to the airport. But somehow I ended up back here. And then I just couldn’t leave again.”  
  
“But why didn’t you come up to the apartment?” Noah asked, a little incredulously. “You didn’t have to stay out here all night.”  
  
Luke looked down at his hands. “I wasn’t sure you wanted to see me,” he mumbled. “After what I told you.”  
  
Noah didn’t quite know what to say to that. He still didn’t really know how he felt about Luke’s confession the previous night.  
  
“But why didn’t you answer my calls?” he asked instead. “Or your family’s calls? Everyone has been really worried about you.”  
  
Luke leaned his head back against the seat and sighed. “I didn’t mean to worry everyone,” he said quietly. “But when I made the decision to come here it all happened really fast and I only had one thought in my head and that was to see you and tell you the truth. It was all I could think about. Afterwards, when everything started to sink in and I realized what I’d done, I discovered that my phone was dead. I’ll find a pay phone and call everyone later. Hopefully they’ll still talk to me.” He looked at Noah. “It was a pretty selfish thing to do, wasn’t it? Taking off like that, without telling anyone.”  
  
Noah didn’t answer that. Luke was right, it was pretty selfish, but then again, Luke had always been impulsive so his actions were hardly that surprising. “Just call them,” he said instead. “They’ll just be happy to know that you’re okay.”  
  
He suddenly felt a little calmer. Luke seemed to be okay. Yesterday, when he turned up on Noah’s doorstep, he had seemed lost and confused, almost like he was in some kind of a trance. Now, to Noah’s huge relief, he appeared to be more himself again.  
  
There was more silence. Noah suddenly became aware of how close they were sitting. Just the two of them in the small space of the car, only a few inches separating them. That hadn’t happened in a very long time.  
  
“What happened?” Noah asked quietly. He needed to know what had made Luke turn up here like this, so completely out of the blue.  
  
It took a few moments before Luke started to talk. “I’m actually not quite sure what happened. Over the last couple of days I’ve been thinking a lot. About you. And me. Everything. And the more I thought about it all, the more I thought about that big, horrible lie I told you. About us not being right together. And it just came to a point where I couldn’t stand it any longer. I couldn’t stand you thinking that I actually meant that. Because I didn’t. You know that now, right? You believe me?” He looked at Noah with such intensity in his eyes that Noah could only nod. He did believe Luke.  
  
Luke looked relieved. “Good,” he nodded. “Anyway. It was driving me crazy. I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t eat. All I could think about was you thinking that I didn’t… that I didn’t care.”  
  
He paused. Noah didn’t say anything. He wanted to let Luke continue.  
  
“So I drove to the airport. And I was lucky to get a ticket on the first flight to L.A. And when I came here I rented a car and drove straight to your apartment. I had your address so after asking for the way a couple of times I was able to find it pretty easily. And then you were there… and I said what I came here to tell you.” He ducked his head. “And then I kind of panicked a little.”  
  
“Yeah, why did you run off like that?” Noah asked. “You really confused me, Luke.”  
  
“I realize that now,” Luke said, regret evident on his face. “And I’m sorry. But I was so scared you’d hate me. And I… I couldn’t stand to see that look on your face.”  
  
“I don’t hate you, Luke,” Noah said, staring intently at Luke, needing him to understand that. “I could never hate you. I love you.”  
  
Luke’s eyes widened a little. “Really?” he almost whispered. “You still… you still love me? After everything? After all the crap I’ve put you through?”  
  
Noah nodded slowly. “I thought you knew that,” he said quietly.  
  
“I did,” Luke said. “I mean, I think I did. But I’ve been so confused lately. I wasn’t sure what to believe anymore.”  
  
He covered his face with his hands, shaking his head a little. Noah looked at him.  
  
“I’m not going to pretend that what you told me before I left Oakdale didn’t hurt,” he said slowly. “It did. When you told me that we weren’t right together it felt like you were diminishing everything we’d ever had together.”  
  
Luke removed his hands from his face, but he looked away, not meeting Noah’s eyes. “I’m so sorry, Noah,” he said quietly. “I’ve already explained to you why I said it, but that’s no excuse. I never should have lied to you.”  
  
Noah could hardly disagree with that. “Thank you for telling me the truth now, though,” he said.  
  
Luke looked at him. “You need to know that I never meant to diminish what we had,” he said. “What we had, Noah… it was so special. It’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”  
  
“Do you really mean that?” Noah asked, needing to know. He couldn’t stand the thought of getting his hopes up for nothing.  
  
“Yes, I do,” Luke said with absolute certainty, not taking his eyes off of Noah. “And I meant what I said last night. About us. And about how right it always felt with you. The truth is that I never felt that with Reid. I tried but… there’s no one like you, Noah. There never will be.”  
  
Noah swallowed a lump in his throat. How long had he been longing to hear Luke say those words? It felt like forever. He realized then that they had somehow closed the distance between them. In fact, there was hardly any distance to talk about anymore. He was looking straight into those beautiful brown eyes, and still they moved closer, closer… And then Luke leaned forward the rest of the way and they were kissing. And Noah didn’t want to think anymore. Because kissing Luke was just as amazing as it had always been. And for now all that mattered was that they were both here, sharing this perfect moment.  
  
When they pulled apart, Luke looked flushed and a little breathless. But there was a sparkle in his eyes that hadn’t been there before and Noah was so incredibly happy to discover that. He could finally see a glimpse of the old Luke.  
  
“I’ve kind of missed doing that,” Luke admitted, looking almost shyly at Noah. But the small smile on his lips faded a little when he continued, “But I don’t think I’m ready for anything more right now.” He found Noah’s hand and held it. “I mean, I’ve only just started to figure things out. And one of the things I’ve figured out is that I… that I want to be with you. If you still want that too. But I need us to take things slow and-” He stopped himself, hesitating for a second. “But of course, I don’t even know if that’s what you want,” he said, a little quieter. “I don’t want to take you for granted. And maybe you’ve finally had enough of me.” He blushed and looked down, but Noah tugged on his hand and made him look back up.  
  
“Never,” he said, brushing a hand lightly across Luke’s cheek. “But I really need you to be honest with me from now on. No more lies.”  
  
“No more lies,” Luke repeated and squeezed Noah’s hand, like a promise.  
  
They smiled at each other. Noah couldn’t believe how much things had changed in the last twenty-four hours. From loneliness, to shock at seeing Luke, then confusion, worry… and now? Now there was only happiness. And the tiny glimmer of hope that had been there before was now a bright, shining light.  
  
It suddenly felt like everything was going to be alright.  
  
“So now what?” Noah asked after a moment. “What’s your plan? Do you have to go back to Oakdale right away?”  
  
Luke laughed a little. “I thought you’d realized by now that I had absolutely no plans for this trip.”  
  
Noah laughed too. It felt really good to do that.  
  
“Yeah, well, would you like to come inside with me then?” He nodded towards his apartment building. “You must be starving.”  
  
“I am,” Luke admitted. “But don’t you have to be at work?”  
  
Work. Damn, he had completely forgotten about that. He would have to call in and tell them that he wasn’t coming.  
  
“I’m taking the day off,” he told Luke. He opened the car door. “So, are you coming?”  
  
Luke grinned and opened the door on his side, and then they both climbed out. Luke locked the car and came around to Noah’s side. “Lead the way,” he said, taking Noah’s hand after a moment’s hesitation.  
  
Noah smiled at him and squeezed his hand a little, suddenly feeling a hundred pound lighter than when he got inside the car less than an hour ago.  
  
His weird, crazy movie suddenly seemed a little less confusing.  
  
There might even be a happy ending.


End file.
